thanks shezbut, possum, byzantine, thanks for your support

... I did as u suggested and wrote stuff out b4hand, but chickened out prior to giving it to the doc choosing to screw it up and stuff it in the bin,
then hit a cross roads: blurt out that im really sus of ppl, stressed and pretty blue sometimes, OR chicken out and just get something routine done eg, a new script or something lame...

so chose option A: BLURT IT OUT... and couldnt stop shaking as i forced it out, short sentance by short sentance, explaining that it was hard as i dont trust the doc for some reason, the doc was really understanding

many qustions were asked and a short quiz given
doc said that it seems to be anxiety/depression and gave me a referral

then i went straight to the gym for like 2 hours...and now feel numb

so now i have to book into the shrink!