Thanks everyone.

Knowing myself and not knowing how to stop this train (I do have a t/pdoc appointment on Friday and I'm going to ask to get put back on an antipsychotic and/or a mood stabilizer) is crazy. I KNOW that I am going to end up blowing up on my wonderful husband because he's not psychically getting the fact that I need to talk. I did "reach out" when he came home from work yesterday and told him I was feeling badly and needed to talk, but then it was dinner time and homework time and family time, and when it was over he played xbox and I put a puzzle together while thinking mean thoughts and not being able to make myself just start talking to him.

I'm getting sleep, mostly, I have to take xanax to get to sleep and it doesn't last so long, but at least I'm not straight staying up...right? ****, I feel so frustrated by all of this.

I think my moods are connected with the seasons. Looking back over the past few years, elevated moods always fall during the spring and summer and depressed moods during the fall and winter. (I am ALWAYS anxious to varying degrees...)