Rayna, thanks for the link and the advice above. Because there is no local meetings in my area, I have to drive 35 minutes to the nearest meeting. So I go on Tuesdays and Thursdays, make two meetings on Thursdays. Plus I go to my IOP meetings on Tuesdays as well. I will be going Tuesday and I will tell everyone in the group what happened. I feel so much shame about it because I've relapsed once before and I had to tell the group and disappointing them is the last thing I'd want to do. Those people have been my backbone many times. But I know I gotta do it in order to fully learn from it and grow.

As far as my sister is concerned, she loves me but she's too far gone right now to care about who she hurts or takes down with her in her addiction. I have no place to go besides here and she lives here too so I can't get away from her. Don't have the money nor resources to do so. It's a complicated situation.

I'm lost... Don't know what to do as far as she's concerned. I wanted sooo bad to help my sister get clean. I've talked to her and talked to her trying to get her to go to meetings with me or just read up on recovery and the difference it's made for people, and then I go and try getting high with her. That makes me feel terrible.