I get it, your pissed because your mutual "friend" and I use that term loosely, shacked up with your wife while you were out of the house. It has probably been going on long before you moved out.

The rest of what you did is pretty jacked up, but Ive seen plenty of women do it too..get down and dirty when it comes to divorce and "winning" custody of the kids.

My question would be what do you want to reconcile? do you love her? she cheated on you with another man, how are you going to resolve that?

I dont necessarily think you were being abusive, I think the first poster is a woman, although I could be wrong. Most men do have pride when it comes to being the provider for the family so I can understand your "funk." If you were abusive to your wife, apologize.

It takes two people to make a marriage. I hope you are able to do right by your kids and not argue or do something foolish to their mom in front of them. I wish you well with your situation.