Ho Jenkins. I am sorry.
I wonder - what do you mean by 'affair'? - I am assuming the full blown thing over a period of time. And she expects you to get over it? Sounds to me a bit detached from reality and mean.
Some couples can get over this. But it takes a lot of work from both sides. If one just minimises it - well... how can you work on it? Did you try to talk to her about it calmly and explain how you feel?
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I want to cry at times but physically cant.
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Why is that? Honestly. How come you cannot cry physically? Is this the only thing you cant cry about or other things as well?
I wonder whether you have lost someone close to you in the past? Maybe someone died and you felt deserted and angry?
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I dont know if I can ever love her again, trust her again. Her behavior leads me to believe that I cant.
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I understand that. That is natural and it may take some time before you know whether there is something worth rescuing here.
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I know this is irrational thinking, but I feel like there are no women out there who wont cheat.
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It is irrational. I am glad you know that. She is one woman. Not all of us cheat. Like not all men cheat. My sister once said to me that the worse thing that can happen to a man is being cheated by a woman. My bf's (recently ex) ex wife cheated on him with another man. The thing is - originally she cheated with him on her then husband at the time... so he can only blame himself really. I wonder whether you blame yourself in any way? This can be very difficult. You may feel like you are not good enough and your ego have taken a serious blow+you trusted her and she betrayed your trust.
All I can say - take your time to assess where you stand with this. I can imagine there is a lot of pain, sadness and anger to be dealt with. It takes time.
If she does not want to end the marriage - then its up to you to see if you can work with her to rebuild what is lost. Good luck!