Yeah, it does really suck being in the tunnel. I was in the tunnel, with no visible light at the end of it, throughout my entire childhood and teen years, but I have been out of the tunnel in the light for almost two decades now! So there is hope and light, and, if you're a person of faith, Hope and Light!

I can say my miraculous healing and total recovery has come through being reconciled to God and maintaining that relationship through reading and prayer. While this may sound like an "individual" experience and "individual" activities, there was more to it. I have been involved in communities, churches, of fellow-believers of like faith, and I have also been very active in AA. You really NEED support from other people no matter what "miracle" God does for you, and the best support comes from others who have struggled with the same issues.

In my case, and probably in anybody's case who struggles with depression, all alcohol had to completely go or I would be dead right now. So I guess you could say I had co-occurring disorders: suicidal depression, alcoholism, and undiagnosed ADHD. But I have been sober twenty years and haven't seriously contemplated suicide since four years into my recovery from alcoholism (yeah, it was a long climb out of the depths of despair, as I had to learn how to live).

I hope we can be good for each other here, and I encourage you to find live humans who have been where you are.