you mentioned 'suicidal ideations'----i know them well. they seldom afflict wealthy secure folk. are you in that group? or you in the bigger one where people are under pressure to make ends meet? that stress is known to cause depression with its annoying ghosts flying about.
i was never depressed buying evey rolex deal in hong kong---but now i'm broke---suicidal ideations are just on the menue. you're going to hear a lot of pin-heads saying, 'i control my thoughts---i'm just better than you.' you may have met these folk already. well, its like they are in 'the land of the blind'. no way can they understand your sight, or feelings. as you used the 's' word---in the unlikely case you feel 'out-of-control' with yourself---i've been there---do not hesitate to go to the nearest Best hospital. but i don't sense you'll need to. these haunting ideas are just that---spooky useless junk that happens. the best cure is probably an increase in income and fiscal security. hard deals when down. but you will come up. omega3 fish-oil caps are cheap. the data on the net shows this supplemrnt alone may shut down the little devil. helped me with 'nightmare-disorder'---knocked it right out. i know you will be a winner, somehow that's all i meet. not that i'm one right now, but over 5 decades i've found we always come out the other side to greater prosperity than we dreamed. now there's a reason to hang on. i consider you worthy. i had major depressions before biz-making, and after---but when it stops, you take-off, like a chinese rocket launch. you never fail. whether at work, or if unemployed, anytime---when ugly thoughts pop up---think about how you may get rich on e-bay, from a hobby---that sort of thing. you really feel better. you desrve to feel better. and prosper.

pirate