I am so pleased you are going to therapy yourself. It is important that you focus on you in all this and not punish yourself.
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Tatyana, by affair I mean, she broke her vow to me to forsake all others. She rekindled a relationship with an old boyfriend via facebook. She and he exchanged nude photos, had phone sex and she discussed our private life (or what I thought was private). The made plans to meet and have sex, he said he was going to "fill her up" and not use a condom.
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Well... I am sorry. This must be very painful, even without knowing all the details... She betrayed your trust and crossed a line that will be very very very difficult to re-establish, if at all. I dont like that she minimised it. She should take responsibility for her actions and acknowledge the effect this has on you. This is the most worrying thing for me - the fact that she does not.
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She was pressuring him to leave his wife and kids so they could get married. I found all these transcripts of these conversations she had with her damn Blackberry messenger.
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Well, then - isnt that clear? she wanted him to leave his wife... so maybe you need to think - whether there is anything left between you two...
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The thing is I dont always want to have that question in my mind "is she up to something?". That is not living and not a good marriage.
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Yes. I agree. Its no way to live and you will end up hating each other.
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We share a child together, but I wont stay with her just because of that.
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I agree.
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Its just hard to know when to walk away. Im a Christian man and took my vows seriously.
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I am sure you did. I think you deserve better. Work through your anger and hurt and see if in the end of the day you want this to work. And if she does. It takes two to commit and one to destroy.
I am here for you if you need to talk xxx