Quote:
Originally Posted by jenkins09
I am a man whose wife had an affair. She minimizes it and just expects me to "get over it."
I am extremely jaded and PISSED. I was numb (emotionally) when I first found out and missed two weeks of work. I want to cry at times but physically cant.
I dont know if I can ever love her again, trust her again. Her behavior leads me to believe that I cant. I know this is irrational thinking, but I feel like there are no women out there who wont cheat.
THIS SUCKS!
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I understand how you feel because I'm in a horrible situation(on going) myself. My situation is worse than yours, even though I know it hard to measure emotional pain. I wonder the same thing - is it possible to find a loyal partner? I know I would never cheat and I'm sure there are others who feel the same.
I think you're in the angry stage and frozen at the moment. It's hard to cry when you're in the angry stage. You're looking for validation of your feelings(justifiably) and you're not getting it -hence feeling stuck. Your wife needs to understand how you feel emotionally betrayed. You figure, if she was convincing him to leave his wife, then she was probably planning on giving up her marriage. This is huge!!! You and your wife need to determine if SHE really wants to continue this marriage and why was she willing to jeapardize it.
The 1st step is for her to acknowledge how you feel. You need to own your feelings and she needs to understand and empathize -not minimize your feelings. Then you both need to determine does she want to remain married and if yes - can you forgive her?
The biggest hurdle is her acknowledging your pain. If you/she want to stay in the marriage then you both need to get in counseling. I hope you figure this out.
*BTW - I think the internet has made emotional cheating and physical cheating so easy and accesible. I hate it. I know we're both so p***ed.