I have these same questions. I don't think it's a matter of determining whether it's the bipolar or not. The fact is that you have bipolar disorder and that can cause many reasons as to why you are having trouble with anger. Bipolars are more prone to not handle stress well and of course there's that whole irritability thing!! My pdoc put me on Geodon to calm the anger and it has worked for me. It was hard to get used to the med. At first it made me very groggy, but now I am fine. I still get very angry and frustrated with my four year old (and the kids I teach at school), but it's not as bad. Now I just walk away when I feel it coming on. Although, I did snap a few weeks ago and throw a lid (it broke!). I have recently started drinking an all natural drink called CALM. You get it at the health food store. It is pure magnesium and so far so good. I drink it in addition to the arsenal of drugs that I am on. It reduces stress, and I know that for me, stress makes the irritability worse (and if your five year old is anything like my four year old, I TOLTALLY get it!!!!