Thanks everyone for all your kind words and support. I have learned in the past that getting my hopes up is always the worst thing i can do for myself. It seems I usually dissapoint myself or get dissapointed.

I mean the person i talked to on Monday about the apartment gave me the impression that I had an apartment that I could afford. And she did have one, just not in the same town that I live in now. It's 20 miles away and wouldn't be able to see my T or my family hardly at all. I won't be going there, and am very disappointed in both not getting the apartment and myself for getting myself in this position. I just knew this would happen. Seems like it happens every time.

I have been doing really well mentally for the past month or so, but this past week to week and a half things have been tough. Flashbacks have come back to haunt me and talking about them with T is hard as it is. It's a subject that I never ever wanted to talk to anyone about and I talked to her about it and now I feel ashamed and guilty and dirty and other things along with that.

I have been living with my dad and step-mom 2 years May 1st and I just need to get OUT! I can't stand it here anymore. I feel like everything i do is wrong or they are thinking something...I don't know, I know it's my own insecurities at the moment.

Sorry for ranting and babbling, I just don't know what else to do or say. I really don't have anyone to talk to about this. I guess this is a great place to turn to when you need support because you guys are wonderful.

Thanks everyone
Hugs again,
Jen