I don't mean to disregard your issues, but your first sentence "So, I'm 17" pretty much stopped my thinking there to: Why are you worrying about sex so much so young?!? I didn't have sex until I was 20. I don't think you should put so much pressure on yourself and why you need to figure out why sex hurts. You should be focusing on helping yourself emotionally and psychologically....you sound like you have had a very hard, abusive past. The absolute last thing you need is to worry about sex. That's just my opinion.