Thanks all.

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shadowdancer said:
Sarah needs therapy... i'm afraid there is little you can do for her except to be her friend if she'll let you and offer her the suggestion that perhaps therapy would be a good idea. if she proceeds with therapy she will need your support if you can give it. otherwise, she is probably not going to welcome contact from you.

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Unfortunately it's come to that. Her brother (and my friend) is dismayed she's got back with Jack... he's also intimated that she doesn't want any contact. It hurts when you've cared for someone like that and they seemingly feel the same for you and, suddenly, you're a pariah --and you haven't DONE anything. I've been consistent, loving and understanding and now, she's back with a man whom has abused her. In spite of all her protestations of keeping single she didn't last a fortnight.

Has she turned off from me completely because deep down, she knows how hurt I am and how inconsistent and hurtful her behavior has been. To face me would be to confront her behavior, perhaps? As you have all said she is "protecting " herself. Every gesture post-break up I've made has been met with hostility. I'm NOT a jerk or an embittered man. She can't seem to handle the fact I'm not behaving like a callous, nasty piece of work. Would me acting as such (not that I would) help her "justify" things more? "Yes, there's that abusive and uncaring man I knew was there all along..."

When we broke up I knew why. Her hooking up with Jack has invalidated the reason! Argh!

In spite of her behavior I still care for her. We had great fun together and it'd be tragic if a friendship couldn't be savaged out of this. ..