I think were all experiencing it like you are. Sometimes things are going okay, other times it can be a struggle to get through.

Its too bad no medications work for you. Have you tried omega 3 fish oil? Studies have shown people with depression do much better if they take it as opposed to placebo. For people with Bipolar it means your depression episodes would be less bad.

Sorry about losing your family members, that has to be very tough, even for those without mood problems.