You are grieving, feary. Unmask the fallacies of your self-thoughts:

http://psychcentral.com/lib/2009/15-...e-distortions/
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/soc...5/METHOD=print
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/sel...9/METHOD=print
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/***...2/METHOD=print
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/pos...9/METHOD=print