busimommie, I think it is very brave what you are opening up and talking about, and that's always the start of a road to a solution. I too was brought up in a home like others mentioned and I wasn't taught proper coping skills, but I was taught to use food and alcohol as coping strategies (11 year sober now), as well as passive aggresive and aggressive behavior to manage. And of course all of that doesn't work in the long-run, it's counter-productive to self and others. These days I have progressed on a continuum to deploying assertiveness and boundaries to live life, and I really have changed a lot. But I will be working on all that until the end of my days.