Hey Kacey
Sorry you are having a bad time too, well worse than uaual. Weird how these things come in waves... one minute I'm godd and have been good for a long time (feels long anyway) and then I am a mess again.
Read the article on grieving that Byz posted a link to - makes a lot of sense and i think it really applies here and to you.
Big cuddles to you sweetie xxooxxooxxooxx