I have been just in your situation twice, and finally with others I was able to get through the worst. It seems like your Mom is aware of the worst in your situation and is there for your support. Never feel that there is no way out, because there always is. Go to therapy, and if necessary don't wait......In any hospital situation there is always an ear to be bent, or a shoulder to rest on. Even here, post as many times as necessary to help with the worst of thoughts. You can get through this if you think ahead and not behind. Even when I thought there was no light at the end of the tunnel......others who were willing to help always taught me to see that there was. Depend on a good therapist when you find one....and don't stop looking if you can't find one at first. Look to others to help you through (it was so hard for me), and I still have a hard time sometimes. Life CAN be enjoyed, though I'm still trying to learn this. I've learned to never stop trying.....NEVER STOP TRYING.
Post back please!....on your situation....friends ARE here....VENT AWAY.....Good Luck .......Y