I do try all day every day but nothing works. I try different things. I do things differently.

All I do is put my fear aside and still do things.

I try and try and try but nothing will help because I just do not want to age and die and I know it is a reality and I have to accept it but I just cannot because I feel so unsafe in the world and my life has been shattered and I have no self-esteem or feeling of security.

I'm sorry, you are extremely supportive and kind to help and thank you but I am beyond help. I have too much pain and hurt and I loathe myself- I feel so disgusted with myself all the time. It makes me sick to look in the mirror or see my skin etc.

I need to stop posting here.