((((genn))))

Thank you for this post and for asking. Within are all parts of me to erase them would be to erase a part of the totality of who I am. Each one within has done a job when I could not be and they were the ones that made it possible to survive what would not have otherwise been survivable. To take away one part would be to take away part of myself and in doing that I would not have survived.

I have tried to denigh parts by saying they were not there so that other people would think that I was healing. This was something that was expected and if I had not said those things then I was bad. When I tried to deny those within, it caused more pain and suffering for myself. I would get tremendous headaches by them pushing forward to let me know that they were not gone.

Some were re-hurt over the past few years and stepped way back into hiding, afraid to show themselves for fear of what would happen. This was hard not only on them but on me. I lost connection with that part of myself that was very important. Knowing that they were not gone but hiding deep made it possible to stay safe until we were in a place where it was safe for them to come back. Some are still just now coming forward trying to trust and find acceptance.

Even today, they are playing a role to help me get through the present and the things that are still taking place. They step forth when I still cannot and they many times make sure I keep safe and go to appointments as I am trying to get to a point of being able to do this more. I still rely on them at times when things are too much or too scary, and they are my rock at times when I am too weary to keep going.

So I guess I would have to say I would not and could not get rid of anyone within. Without them all I would not be and I would not have survived. Each one has a function and holds very vital information and plays a role in who we are. They never go away, just get closer and are who I am and would have been. They just hold that part of myself that I could not be then but am trying to be now.

dps