I don't even know what to do anymore. I feel like i don't have a right to ask for help or burden others with my problems. I don't even feel like i should be giving others advice when I can't help myself. I am always sick and can't figure out if it is tied to my problems or not. I have been sick for 2 weeks straight with some head cold and can't stay home to get better any longer because my absent days are almost spent. I will not ask my parents for a therapist after the problems that brought up last time. I can feel myself becoming less social. It doesn't even feel like my best friends are here for me anymore. I was absent today and the response my BEST friend emailed me was "your not here today. that doesn't surprise me" that was it not a how are you or anything. I feel lost over the fact that i know there is no where to ask for help. If i talk to my dad he blames himself, they won't let me see a therapist, and my guidance counselor is no help at all. My mom is great to talk to but i don't want to burden her with everything. I see my sister and it tears me up inside to see her not happy with the way she looks and worried about what others think of her. I feel like a horrible person so often. I want to do horrible things; cut, drugs, alcohol and the only reason i don't is because i worry if my sister sees me doing it she will try it too and she is not as careful as me with things. I feel like that is putting pressure on her the fact that if she slips up with something it gives me the right to do whatever i want. I apologize for ranting i just feel like i am losing my mind and there is no whey to stop it. I guess being sick and mentally getting worse takes its toll Sorry to bother everyone.