living in the moment (the present) is actually an old concept, and one that I try to live by. Sure, there are regrets of past things that I didn't do, that I didn't do correctly, or did even though they were wrong.

now, being in my 50s, I look for times that I can laugh. So much of my past has had worry and pain and abuse, that I actually LOOK for something funny to break up my day. watching Americas Funniest Videos are great, and they lift you up out of yourself and you find yourself laughing a great deal watching the antics of those on the videos that are sent in. And, I look for laughter in my daughter, who is 14. She is a fun kid, and she thinks things are uproariously funny, even those things that happen to her. She has great self confidence, and enjoys life to the fullest. She is great at lifting me out of my doldrums and gets me to laughing. It is wonderful to laugh with her...she keeps me young.

sure, im older, but that doesnt have to be how i view the world. i dont FEEL old, and don't feel that life is over, in fact, i find that life is just beginning. i plan on living for quite a few years yet. i am not giving up just because i am growing older. i enjoy being 55, and truth be told, i find that having my daughter keeps me from being my true age.

i know if i can learn to laugh, you can learn to laugh. you can learn to take a moment, and turn it into a moment to learn from. look for humor in the walk of life, like children playing on the gym set, or children interacting with dogs or other animals, or go visit a children's hospital and see their courage and zest for life that they have despite their illnesses.

Plan to laugh, plan to play, plan to have a good time, despite the circumstances. you will find things to smile about, things to enjoy, things that will take your breath away if you let them.

i hope this helps. i have had my own painful moments of being unbearably sad and distant and feeling as though i could never be in the moment ever again. i began to doubt my sanity, and was depressed, angry and anxious. thankfully, today my outlook has changed. i don't look to the future any more with the angst of before, because i can't change what is going to happen. and i don't look back on past regrets because they are over with and do nothing to help me live for today.

i hope that you will find some measure of acceptance and life in what i shared. you can change your life, and be at peace with yourself, regardless how old you are.

peace,

Yahna