I'm mad. I think life is unfair. But i have to accept it. Don't I? I want my family and friends to move back home. I'm homesick for them. I want them near me. By me. With me again.

I was doing better. Accepting the way things are now. well seeing through it. But something got in the way.

The phone rang. I missed the call. I called back and left a message. It's so hard to stay together when everyone is falling apart.

My neighbor came over today. She was upset, really depressed. She cant' stand life here anymore. Said she needs out. Needs to be in a place that isnt is in destruction. They were one of my few neighbors that came home. I dont' want to see them go too. They hold me on.

My heart hurts cause i can't find peace. I just pretend. It's not even a mask. It's a different body. I step in and i step out of it.

I believed once. I had faith. It's lost. Gone. What has been done is not fair. I wanna be up. I wanna believe. But i can't.

I'm tired of fighting to be happy. there's just to much sadness and gloom. I hate to open my front door.