Googley - ** I ** do not like my questions, they make me feel like a suspicious, depressed, avoidant nut - which I guess I am now that I think of it but if you could ask yr T to explore that with you, I will ask mine, and maybe we can all compare notes one day.

Maybe Sannah meant that you could (note: could) unconsciously seek hurtful relationship because it's what you've always known and therefore is "safe" - and even if it hurts and that's scary, what's known can seem preferable to relationships which MIGHT hurt but don't (yet?), and that's UNknown, and is even scarier. This I can identify with.

Why forgive your parents? because if you can find it in your heart to do so, it will give you such peace. I haven't gotten there (yet) but I long for it. And heaven knows, if you are a parent, you may long for your children's forgiveness yourself; for none of us is perfect and none will ever be the parent we aspire to be... always be trying.
here - this is for you if OK