Every night I wait...wait for the memories, wait for the faces to appear, wait to feel him touching me, holding me down, kissing me. It's all in my mind, yes, but I still remember like it was yesterday.

I'm so used to being afraid to live that I do not know how to live a life without abuse. I crawl next to my bf every night, hoping that he won't do what the others have done...he never touches me, kisses me, or treats me like the others. It's a blessing to all the pain I've experienced. Was the Goddess looking out for me when I met him? She must've been.

The sad thing is I still expect the abuse to come. I wait for it because I know no life other than a life of abuse and neglect...but he never does that.