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Originally Posted by thinker22
Does anyone else have thoughts about killing themselves, but have no intention of acting on the images flashing before your eyes...and then fear that you'll sleepwalk and do it without truly wishing to?
That's what I've been dealing with. I have a hard time falling asleep because I worry about it. Obviously it hasn't happened, but as it might just be an irrational fear I'm hesitant to tell my p-doc or T.
Do I just deal with the fear and ignore it?
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I have had the thoughts and images, but I never had the fear I would do it while sleeping. The only thing I've ever done in my sleep is sleep eating, and that's only when I take seroquel for sleep at night. Have you ever fantasized about anything else and then did it while asleep? I agree that you should talk to your T about it; that's their job...to help you deal with irrational fears, right? I wouldn't think it's necessary to tell your pdoc as I don't know that it would require a med change...but your T would tell you if you should tell the pdoc or not.
Just a suggestion that you can take or leave...could you write a list of reasons that you want to live and read them over a few times before going to sleep, kind of a mantra to help you not worry? I do something similar to help with my nightmares...I have a recurring nightmare that I'm stuck in my hometown and can't find a way back to my current city. I repeat over and over "I live in L. now. I do not live in T. anymore." It has helped the nightmares lessen a bit.
Take care!!
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From the movie The Hours: "If I were thinking clearly, Leonard, I would tell you that I wrestle alone in the dark, in the deep dark, and that only I can know. Only I can understand my condition. You live with the threat, you tell me you live with the threat of my extinction. Leonard, I live with it too."