You are NOT a burden. It's all for one and one for all on these boards ^_^
If I feel sad, someone helps me. If I feel better I help someone who is sad. It's just the way it works around here and I urge you to please keep posting. We want to help you in any way we can.
Please ask your guidance counselor if there is any way you could see a psychologist at the school and please, know that we care about what you are going through <hug>
Btw the reason why you want to do the drugs/alcohol is because you are in such pain right now. Please get help instead of succumbing to the pain and trying to self-medicate via these means. Drugs/Alcohol/Cutting will only cause MORE problems.
Keep yourself safe and write as much as you need to on these boards.
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“In depression . . . faith in deliverance, in ultimate restoration, is absent. The pain is unrelenting, and what makes the condition intolerable is the...feeling felt as truth...that no remedy will come -- not in a day, an hour, a month, or a minute. . . . It is hopelessness even more than pain that crushes the soul.”-William Styron
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