I can relate--I haven't forgiven any of them. I used to think I had, because i still spoke to them (most were family members), but the way i isolate, and am so very avoidant of most people, I know i ne'er have. I am always in hypervigilence, hypersensitive mode--fight or flight--constant anxiety is my costant companion.
Fear of the unknown is ever present. I have lived this way all of my life, I don't know how I've survived it--40 years of therapy-tons of misdiagnosis, guinea pig meds...
all the while my family pointing the finger at me--she's the nut--there's something wrong with her...and still i had to live with them-oh yes-my mom got rid of my father when i was two--she knew what he was trying to do taking "naps' with me but my brothers were still there. I still had to deal with them, and their friends-much older than I was---it went on throughout my life--to a husband who raped me daily for 16 years---then did it to our biological daughter--when she told me--he was out that day by Police and Child Protective Orders

There is no way to forgive, no way-only to try to go on (((Tifferffic)))-theo