Trigger for talking about weight just in case it upsets anyone

I hesitate to post this but I don't know what to do! I was disappointed with my session today for a reason I couldn't quite tell T. I touched on it, but I was too embarrassed about my feelings, and I didn't want to make her feel bad. The simple part is that I walked in and wanted her to look different! Not like Bt, but just different. I felt closer to her in the emails than in person. When I saw her I felt that sinking feeling that I can't relate to her because she's very thin. I really wanted to tell her that because I was talking about how I pay attention to Bt's looks and her clothes. But I couldn't!! Is that something you could ever tell your T? I'm afraid I will email it to her tonight because I feel depressed. Maybe she has a problem, but it's probably my problem.

The confusing part is that it bothers me because I probably won't have those intense feelings for her now. I will be disappointed when I see her. That is healthier, I know, but I feel so bad about it. I don't care so much what people look like, just my Ts. That's so strange to me. I don't want Kt to replace Bt but part of me does. That part is the disappointed part. Maybe I will email her that piece but not about how she looks.

We talked about Bt and my seeing her, but T wanted to relate it to my past. I don't feel like anything got resolved. She wants to do EMDR with me in 2 weeks. She showed me the vibrating thingies. She thinks it will help, but I'm skeptical. I hope I'm not her first client who doesn't benefit from it.

I don't choose my friends for how they look. I feel like such a snob being so critical. I'm a little overweight myself. I don't like the way Bt looks either, but I still became attached. Maybe she has a disorder or maybe she's just underweight. Or maybe she's just thin and I'm not used to it. This bothers me, though, and did at each session so far but I put it out of my mind. What should I do?