One of the things with emails is that it leaves much space for our imagination to fill in. We can create what we want.
When confronted with the reality it can feel strange, shocking.

Does this sound like when you want your therapist to be mother-like, so your mind is creating what it feels like that would look like?

It is interesting, and sure talk about it in therapy. It's an awareness and your T will welcome what you tell her says about you.