Hi _M&M_,
Well, physically I'm fine --in fact I'm great! I lost a bunch of weight recently and I'm interested in my appearance again after years of hating on my body -- buying clothes, not running from cameras! That part is working for me right now.
I don't know what triggers T's weirdness about being near me. I'm compulsive about hygiene, so it's not that I smell bad! I have a co-worker who does though. I'm exquisitely alive to the possibility that I might offend other people at any given time about anything, so I go nuts trying to be acceptable. I'm also aware that my hypersensitivity around these things is a symptom of past trauma, so I realize I'm looking at the world through a distorted lens. I try not to stress about my own reactions, but I can't seem to change them.
I do feel insulted when my T doesn't rise when I leave. I don't know why it rankles so much. I've never mentioned it to him. I have a theory he's sensitive about being a shorter guy, and doesn't want me to see that he's shorter than me (I'm not that tall, but I wear heels). But I could never in a MILLION years bring that up! I'm not there to call my T on his own defenses and issues after all. Can't stop wondering though!
Quote:
Originally Posted by _M&M_
kitten,
Since in replies this has not been brought up ,,,, how do You perceive yourself in general ? >> say as , when You look in the mirror when getting ready to leave the house and go >>> shopping , ect, ?
The reason I ask is because of the way you describe " when I hand him my check ".
Do You feel there is a reason You think that changes something in his/her demeanor to you?
M&M
edit for clarification:,,,The check and billing statement You brought up in a response .
BTW. Princess, lynn. & bloom make good points.
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