Reading thru the thread, saw hunny's comment re: bath. For a long time now I've heard children screaming when I shower (and vaccuum believe it or not). Don't know why, just do. Sometimes louder and more urgent than others. Sometimes not at all. Weird and disconcerting. Have told T's & they have given distraction techniques so I don't get caught up in it & can continue having good personal hygiene (which got effected along the way). Things are better using distraction. Can shower when I 'have' to now. Now also have a bath in new house (don't hear screaming in bath but see bath as self-nurture which then carries other issues, etc etc etc), but didn't have a bath tub for 10 years.

Don't know why I'm writing this. Sorry for thread interruption everyone.

TQ, shame is given to us by others, via judgement/action/words etc. Whatever shame you are holding was given to you by someone else. I hope you can one day be free of it. All the best.

kp