It has been in my experience (pertaining to the receiving of) advice vs judgement:
When being advised, it is offered to me with compassion, concern and patience.
The approach is calm, rational and includes all possible aspects pertaining, (what's influencing and variable results). I am offered unabandoned dedicated guidance until it is clear to me an understanding.
The results have a far more positive, lasting effect. I feel I am allowed to have the feelings I have, the acceptance to express them and the freedom to feel them.
(What I do with that understanding is completely up to me and it is made clear to me that the choice is mine to be made without following repercussion with that person advising).
When being judged, opinion is thrown upon me without warning or request or without concern of how the approach effects me.
I feel as though I'm placed on trial and blamed for my actions, belittled for my choices and casted shame for expressing them.
I am not provided understanding for mistakes made or opportunity for explanation.
The results leave me feeling casted aside, unimportant and without value.
I learn to suspect others to attack me if I express myself, so I decide it safer to repress them, leaving me alone to deal with my casted forced sense of insignificance.
(What I do with those results has been a inner battle of mine for years, which I have yet to win that war, however, refusing to wave a white flag of surrender).
Because of how I've received advice vs judgment, (with judgement taking precedence since early childhood), has dictated what I am today.
I do my utmost best not to cast judgement upon anyone as I know how horrible and lasting those effects can be.
Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but for many, so long as they keep it to themselves, (unless asked), as they haven't a clue how to be diplomatic, supportive, compassionate or aware.
Imo,
To be advised requires a search for answers, (whether or not we act upon them).
To be judged is fault casted upon us, (whether or not we've earned it).
Shangrala
