HUMOR!

YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!

OH MY GAWD YES!

Yes. That's it, BohemianPrincess. That is huge. Because I love humor. I need humor. And I can't do life without humor. And he's just the opposite apparently.

But that's minor. It would help, though. It's like when you bake muffins and forget to put in the oil. Blech!

Your response made me laugh/cry, and all in a good way! I should clear up the thing about the email I got from a listener. He's a guy I had been corresponding with, and we had sent each other a few chatty and pleasant messages. But one day he shot me this message criticizing a metaphor I had used on the air -- claimed it was insulting to the composer (I know this is getting Byzantine, but I work for a classical music station). Anyway, he misheard me, I had said something completely different. So he also says: "You don't say hopefully on the air, do you?" THAT came outta nowhere. Crap, "hopefully" is controversial -- there are people who say it's always incorrect English, and those -- even a few academics -- who defend it. I HATE language nazis and really felt annoyed by his tone.

So my feelings were kinda raw. I went to therapy that day and told my T about this guy. This guy happens to be an artist. He had been emailing me about taking his art to show some lady who worked at an art store. According to him, she ripped him apart, said his painting was terrible. He was so upset by her reaction that he cried in the car going home. And I just thought that might be why he was suddenly in such a bad mood, and felt like he had to attack me (even though the experience had nothing to do with me).

So I offered my T the theory that this guy was attacking my use of language on the air, because he had been feeling rotten about another person, another issue entirely. And I probably said something to my T like, I can't stand being scapegoated! (It's an old parental issue with me).

SO -- my T said, and this is as close to verbatim as I can get, given my memory: "Are you saying that you were trying to understand what it must be like to be able to be that vulnerable, to have that kind of courage? To be able to show your work to a stranger and make yourself vulnerable?"

To me, and I may be wrong, it sounded like he was saying that I lack courage. So I just went nuts and launched into this huge thing about how I survived parental abuse in childhood, had survived merciless bullying in school, and it took courage, and I'd had the courage to marry, and that I was courageous every damn time I cracked the mic and started talking into the void, and that people had said some terrible things about me (wonderful things too) since I'd started my job, but I kept marching in there every day, and THAT took courage, and I just went on and on and I thought I was going to have a coronary. He backed WAY down and said he hadn't been implying that I lack courage.

But that's what I heard. (sigh)

Sorry to go on so long. But thanks, BohemianPrincess, for urging me to just call him on his crap. I've done it and I will continue to do it, until I decide what to do.

I agree with you -- it's sick that he defends people who attack me. I don't know if I have the courage to say it! But you've given me an idea!

I could just throw it out there. If he can defend himself, I'd be willing to hear it. I've been nothing but courteous and understanding around this guy and I've given him so much feedback (on the good stuff too), and a million chances to change! Just getting to the end of my rope.

Think of him as an employee? Interesting.

Thanks, Princess!