Hey Peet! I'm sorry to hear about what your husband has put you through. I can imagine all of the emotions you're experiencing, even months after the whole ordeal. And I can only hope and pray for you that you will find the strength and courage to cope with everything and concentrate on your own happiness. I know it's difficult making those first steps into your future, especially if you're doing it alone, but you must trust that there is something out there which suits your needs better. Trust in God, for he doesn't give us anything we can't handle. I'm honestly not a very religious person, but after being cheated on in every one of my relationships, it seemed like spirituality was all I had and all that I could count on. You see, I too, am currently experiencing what you had to a few months ago. Although I wasn't married, I was involved with a man who cheated on me with a girl who knew all about me too. They laughed about it all and made plans behind my back. They even went on trips together even though he told me we had no money to take any vacations. I also remember that sick feeling you talked about, because I had the same knots in my stomach every time I learned about my mate deceiving me. I admire your courage to move on with your life. That's something I never had, for I allowed my man to continue to walk all over me. But I hope that you realize what your husband did to you is NOT your fault. You were all the woman any man could have asked for, and one day he'll regret his mistakes, if he doesn't already. Hang in there Peet! You owe it to yourself!