feary are you on any medication? seeing a therapist?

Worrying about tomorrow is only wasting today. Time passes, but it's a good thing. If time didn't pass we would never have any experiences, never meet/spend time with people we love.

The older you are the more LIFE you have had.

Please try not to stress so much. You need to see a therapist or somebody who can reassure you. You weren't scared of this before, were you? You're so scared of getting an illness but this in itself is an illness and it's ruining your life RIGHT NOW. It could help you to work through these issues with a therapist.

Do you do anything in your daily life that you enjoy?

I'm sorry you're so upset and worried, I wish I could help but my best advice is talk to a professional. x