Lost, I've recently went through the guilt and shame of relapse after 10 months of being clean. I didn't relapse with alcohol (which is a big thing for me) but I did relapse using crystal meth. So I know how you must be feeling right now. Please know that shame and guilt on yourself will not make the situation better. Forgiving yourself and starting over WILL make the situation better. If you need to talk, PM me anytime. I know it's hard relapsing, but there is light after dark.