Solar: It could be that I am pushing her away. I'm recalling my feelings about my very first T, years ago. I used to always think she was aloof and cold. Gradually, I saw that she wasn't that way and I remember telling her "I can't find anything wrong with you anymore!" It was hard for me to get close to her. It seems like Kt and I have a good relationship so far, but she did write in an email that we are just getting to know each other. I vaguely remember telling her in the session that even with this kind of therapy, we have to have a relationship, and that it was scary for me.

Blue: I know it sounds weird, but it's not so much the mother type of figure I want as someone who excites me. Maybe it's got more to do with my H than my mother. But I did want to be with Bt all the time, and wanted her to take care of me, so it's not one or the other I want, but both. I want the nurturing as well as the excitement.