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Wanting Kt to look different--very confused
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Apr 14, 2010, 10:36 PM
Anonymous39281
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Originally Posted by
rainbow8
Solar: It could be that I am pushing her away. I'm recalling my feelings about my very first T, years ago. I used to always think she was aloof and cold. Gradually, I saw that she wasn't that way and I remember telling her "I can't find anything wrong with you anymore!" It was hard for me to get close to her. It seems like Kt and I have a good relationship so far, but she did write in an email that we are just getting to know each other. I vaguely remember telling her in the session that even with this kind of therapy, we have to have a relationship, and that it was scary for me.
rainbow, it does sound like if you can find something wrong with your Ts then you feel you don't have to attach to them. you're scared to attach so you find some flaw that justifies not attaching. but then you want to attach too so you are in this bind. how does this relate to your rl relationships either in the past or present? it sounds like maybe this bind, and your focus on it, is how you stay stuck so as not to have to look at those real life situations and either grieve your losses from the past and/or face your fears of the present. maybe you and T can just deal with this first part right now. leave the fears of whether or not you'll have the excitement or not for later. if you don't allow yourself to attach you won't be able to do the necessary work. if you do attach then you can go on and deal with whatever comes up at that point like the excitement or lack of it. i get the sense you're looking at many different scenarios all at once and it is confusing you. maybe if you can be a bit methodical about it and focus on things one step/conflict at a time it will help? hope something i've said helps but if not here are plenty of
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rainbow8