Thank you. I try to look at every day as something new. I just get in these holes and it makes it feel impossible to get out.

I remind myself that my life is minimal to what others have to endure. I see it at home and i see it here at pc. The pain and hardships are a strain. They are more than you can handle sometimes.

With all the things that i lost. The most missed are the albums of photos. To see and remind me of the good times we had. Now its just a memory and i feel that fading. It's hard to lose the sight of my grandparents and other friends and family. Those you can never replace.

I will hold on. I have to. I have to see the warmth of the day and suck it in. I know that's what life is about. The beauty within.

I wish i could be more secure. Control my well being. To find that place where happiness sits waiting for me. I hope one day in my life i will find it. Then i could say it was worth the wait.