I know that for a fact tomorrow night will be by far the worst night of my life, cause Brenda the love of my life the only person who is the reason why I still continue living is going to her high school prom with another guy tomorrow night and what makes it even worse is that he is a friend of mine, there is only three people who know that I aint happy about it and they all tell me the same thing I'm not there so I musn't worry or be sad, I am sad cause I wish it were me but when she was looking for sum1 to go with her we weren't talking to each other cause of all the shite I put here through, but know we are talking again and she knows about all of my shite that I am going through right now in my life and she is there for me when I need her but I don't want here to go with this guy cause I know him and I know what he is like and I can't exavtly go and tell her cause she will get really angry with and tell me not to be jealous, but I can't help it I just love her so much that I can't bear to spend the rest of my life without her I need her in my life and she is but not the way I want her to be and now she is going to the prom with this guy and it eats me up inside to even think of it, I know he won't do try anything but my mind is running wild with paranoid thought about what might happen and it kills me to even consider what might happen, she is more important to me than any1 else in my life, we are not together she says all we will ever be is just friends and I can live with that, but I cannot bear to think of her with another guy, at the moment she is going out with another friend of mine who just happens to be in England at the moment and he is only coming back next year May, she loves she says and I love her, its a visious cycle but I know that I love her and that is all that counts but right now I am so depressed and I just know that tomorrow will be even worse. GOD I LOVE HER SO MUCH!