T appointment went really well - I cried, okay so that sounds bad but it was needed.
I seemed to have started to think that everything was my fault again - that there was something that I could have done to stop what had happened (controlling behaviour - find and fix the problem).
The other thing that seems to have come from this is that I don't trust myself... not that I have lost trust in men but that I have lost trust in my judgement.

All these things are still there from the beginning.. I had learnt wonderful ways to prove them wrong (positive thinking, emotion diary, figuring out what was a correct thought and what wasn't). So now it's back to basics - no one has the right to be able to control my emotions but me (and some how Mark got hold of them again ).

I am still emotional right now.. but it will pass.

I am a good person, I did NOTHING to contribute to the break down of the relationship.. I gave my all and HE betrayed me. There was nothing that I could have FIXED because it wasn't broken - atleast on my behalf and what Mark chose to let me see/know.
I am not death on relationships but I am not ready for one for some time.

I am a good person.

I was dumped by a wave.... I'm not washed out to sea and I am on my way back to shore...

The process is long and hard with many ups and downs... I can't expect every day to be full of happiness. This is not a set back but just a blip on the radar..

Thanks for listening everyone xxx