Thank you Granite - good point! I am wanting to go back to work but one alter who holds most of the pain is in hiding from T right now and has threatened SU if I go back to work. But I can not let that alter run my whole life!!! Urrrrrrr.... It was me though who did it last night - it was just that I was in so much pain and I just ... urrrrrrr

(((((( ps )))))) Thank you much. I just do not want to disapoint T I think. IDK. I really am lost with this. I don't get how I could do so much to be healthy and then slip like that. I just feel .... anxious? idk