by.grace, I think maybe you should look into getting a book called Stop Walking On Eggshells. I mentioned it in another post somewhere - it gives steps for the "non-BP" or the person involved with the borderline person. Maybe it would be a good starting point. I've found it to have a lot of valuable information.

It's sounds as if your in a really dangerous situation, but I can understand that you want to help your friend. Just please be careful.