Hello,

I live with my boyfriend. He and I are generally happy together. We get on 90 % of the time and can usually deal with any differences of opinions in our relationship. I have been with him now for 2yrs. We both live in a city where neither of us grew up. And have only lived here a short period of time. The problem is that the only thing my boyfriend wants to do is stay at home and watch movies/play video games and get drunk. He has a very demanding job so I appreciate that more often than not he is wrecked at the end of the week and needs a good rest. The trouble is he never wants to socialise with anyone except a few of his work colleagues. In the beginning I was head over heels in love. So to spend the weekend entirely on our own didn't actually bother me. But now I find it extremely boring and annoying. He doesn't want me associating with his friends from work because he thinks they are too posh for me. I have to be honest and say I am very quite and shy person. So it is difficult for me to get myself out there. However I do like going places and meeting different people. So I usually do my best to ignore my initial discomfort. He also doesn't want any of my friends around the flat. Basically I think because it makes him uncomfortable. My mother also didn't want strangers in our house when we were young. Never feeling that we were good enough. One time she shouted at friends of ours to get out of the house. She was ill at the time. And has suffered from depression. My eldest sister too suffers from depression. Can not keep a job or take care of herself. I also have an uncle who is schiophrenic. Basically my family is not as mentally healthy as we would like it to be. And I realise that there is very little chance that I am as mentally healthy as I would like to be given my upbringing.

Thing is - did I choose my boyfriend because he was familiar to me?? Because he had same characteristics as my own mother? How can this relatonship have a future if we are never going to have a social base. A group of people who we trust and can have a laugh with both as individuals and as a couple. Are we bad for each other? Or am I recreating subconsicously my own family situation?