Ok so now I am on effexor 12.5 mgs.

today I went to the psychiatrist again and I was particularly anxious and shaky and terrified and all this physical visible anxiety and she saw it for the first time.

so she prescribed propanolol, it is a beta blocker used for performance anxiety and she said it helps with the physical symptoms.

I am so terrified and totally discouraged because I will never be able to handle aging and dying I know it, especially with my life such a mess and my mind so weak.

If I had some stability maybe but I just cannot adjust, accept, cope, deal with this all. Just too much.