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Apr 15, 2010, 09:04 PM
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Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: So Cal
Posts: 3,342
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Severe trauma and abuse can be objective AND subjective. (IMO)
First off...abuse is abuse and there are no two ways around it. It doesn't matter if it "only" happened one time. To say that "it wasn't that bad", or to even think it, is a form of self invalidation and denial. It is a way for you to cope emotionally. If you can convince yourself it wasn't that bad, then you have more of a reason to be just fine. If you validate your experiences and how you were treated, that is a very concrete thing and means you have to fully admit to yourself that you were harmed...and that's a hard thing to do.
Now put into play that no one person internally processes and perceives trauma the same. What might roll off of one kid's back may completely devastate another. It doesn't mean the act or behavior was any less abusive, it just means that one child may have a higher resilience or "tougher skin", and/or there may have been different variables that changed their internal process such as genetics, gender, culture and race, environment, age...etc.
So what is processed as "severe" by one child may be processed as "mild" by another. Ultimately though, like I said, abuse is abuse...it makes no difference how the child processes it. It is what it is.
Take care.
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