Quote:
Originally Posted by jexa
I've got to admit amandalouise your post pushed my buttons. It's really unfortunate in my opinion that you would give up on clients in this way. Sometimes trust takes a LOT of time. Sometimes things are not what they seem. Sometimes you have to wait to feel the underwater currents. Slowly you become in tune with a person, knowing what they need, feeling for the faultlines, sneaking in. Resistance to therapy is an opportunity. Sometimes overcompliance is a problem. Listen with more than your ears and see with more than your eyes and you'll find yourself a better therapist...
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Im sorry. But we are not a long term therapy agency. we are a crisis center. Crisis centers are not for therapy thats going to take years. Its not that Im giving up on the clients that dont put in any effort. Top me it makes no sens to continue with a client who after two months has shown they dont wnat to do the work. maybe its me they arent comfortable with maybe they have deeper problems that take more time. the fact of the matter is we are a crisis center not a long term agency that can spend years turning the client therapist relationship into a friendship and then get to work. we have over 5000 clients and a waiting list and we get calls from the hospital and police.
to put it bluntly we cant waste time on the person that is obviously not putting in any effort when there is a 3 yr old battered brusied and tore up toddler in the er that needs us, a 16 yr old who walks in the door because her boyfriend committed date rape, being an avocate for a rape victim prosecuting their rapist, a suicidal person on the edge on the phones and a psychotic holding his neighbor at gun point and the police need a mediator from the crisis center.
which would you choose to do be in an office with someone shooting down every suggestion even those they themselves came up with, refusing to do talk about their problems, refusing to accomplish the goals that they helped set up
or be in court for the rape victim, be with the 3 yr old helping to calm the child so the hospital can get the evidence, be with the 16 yr old helping her tell her parents and the police and walking her through the process of arresting the guy, be a mediator for th e police.
our agency has to make hard choices every day and unfortunately we dont have the time to spend years on someone who doesnt really want to make an effort for what ever reasons. all we can do is be there for those we can and transfer those we cant help to other people who can take the time they may need or give them the structure they may need.
unfortunately one way does not work for everyone and you cant save the world. even therapists have hard choices to make. Like other posters have already experienced and if you read other posts here you will see sometimes therapists have to say sorry we cant help you.
the problems could be anything. wrong therapist, client and therapist not clicking, client not ready to work, client having deeper problems than the therapist can help them with.
Just like people trying to find a therapist they have certain kinds of therapists they don't like and cant work with. therapists have the same problem, every therapist has their own limitations, and preferences for what kinds of clients, what field of work they are comfortable with.
Its scary on both ends for both therapists and clients. they each have their own preferences what they can do what they wont do. Ask any therapist and they will tell you that yes at some point in their careers they have met up with a few clients they haven't been able to help, haven't been able to take the time needed and the therapist client relationship just didn't click.
Therapists are human just like you they don't like every person they meet.
