My Support Forums - View Single Post - Wanting Kt to look different--very confused

imapatient · Apr 16, 2010, 12:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rainbow8

ECHOES, you really think I can tell or email her that her looks upset me????? I was blushing during my session when she tried to get me to tell her what was bothering me about emails vs seeing her. I know Ts are used to hearing everything, but when it's about THEM? I don't know if it's transference but skinny is definitely not mother-like to me. I don't think of her as a mother figure at all, though.

You're right about my imagination. I have always had fantasies of sessions but the reality hits me right away. My email exchange with Kt was the closest to fantasy/reality meeting I've ever had. I think it was cognitive dissonance (think that's the phrase I mean) to see her.

New to this thread.

A radical new thought. Are you projecting?

Are you feeling a rejection of her based on her appearance in defense that you imagine she doesn't like the way you look? You're taking your negative self-feelings (fears) and turning them outside and projecting them as negative feelings about her? Maybe you think (unconsciously) that someone who looks like she does was sitting there and thinking there's something wrong with someone who looks like you (I have no idea what you look like, this is hypothetical) rather than vice-versa? I know I've been concerned with what a T thinks of how I look (female T's where my attractiveness was the issue for me) and been self-conscious about it.

You made some comments about your appearance relative to Bt and Kt, if you want a place to start looking into this. Food for thought.