Sorry I'm not contributing to everyone else right now. It feels selfish. I wish I had more to offer. I'm so overwhelmed right now with everything. I know a lot of you are struggling with things worse than I, but I just don't know what to say. I'm sorry you are hurting.

I was thinking today as I walked back from the painting studio to my car (I loathe this painting class) that the meds are poisoning me and I need to get off of them as soon as possible. I worried last night that I was pregnant and killing the cells with all these drugs. I guess that was better than thinking I'd kill myself in my sleep. I hate feeling so drowsy in the afternoons from Geodon. I always need an hour or two nap and it interferes with work and school. I feel like such a loser.

Totally want to come off of all of my meds, but I know that would be insane on my body due to withdrawal. I think I'm ruining my liver being on all these things. I wonder if it's worse than drinking alcohol.

Maybe I'm better but my body can't show it because the meds are clouding my brain and energy. How can I know if I don't stop them?